Paying Attention

When I hear the words, “Pay attention”, I am transported back to seventh grade, and our P.E. teacher, Miss Kerbel. Her command would rise above the shrillness of the voices of twenty-five girls packed into a corner of the basement room where we met before going up to the gym or out to the ball field. The words came out in stentorian tones so that they became one word, one thought: “Paytenshun!” And we all got quiet immediately, waiting for her instructions, which came rapidly. In more recent times, as I watch myself drifting in and out of focus, starting a new task before completing the first one, making lists and losing them, I say the words to myself.

But a better instruction, a more encouraging and inviting way of encouraging focus, would be to think of the word “mindfulness”—a concept associated with the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, who worked tirelessly for peace for his nation, only to be exiled for his efforts. His work on “engaged Buddhism” and on the concept of mindfulness have made him known and appreciated all around the world.

I remembered mindfulness (how sadly typical that mindfulness is something that often slips my mind!) when I came across this quotation: “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

I wrote those words of Thich Nhat Handh on a yellow post-it note a long time ago and tucked it away between the pages of a book I started reading and never finished. I don’t know where I found the quotation, or when I wrote it. I wasn’t paying proper attention.

“Mindfulness” is all about paying attention to where we are, what we are doing, who our companions are, what is going on, in the present moment. As I write that, I wonder if it sounds difficult—too concentrated a task. But as I look at the way I live, I think mindfulness would be a welcome relief from my tendency to try to do several things at once. Mindfulness would enable me to be present in each moment, without anticipating what I must do next, what I should say next, what to do next. Mindfulness would bring peace.

The rewards and results of mindfulness can readily be seen in children. When we have the patience to listen to them truly and well, asking questions that help them clarify their thoughts, letting them know that they are truly important to us, they do open and bloom like flowers. But all of us, at any age, are capable of opening and blooming, if there is someone to encourage and pay attention.

We live in a world of beauty and wonder, of complexity and even tragedy…and often we miss the beauty, oversimplify the complexity, and try to avoid the tragedy. We let ourselves get distracted by whatever is in front of us. We need to pay attention. When we pay attention not only to our own needs and feelings, but also to those of the people around us, our own lives will be enriched by the connection. It is a beautiful thing to have even a small part in helping others bloom and become all that God intends.

“Pay attention.” I’m saying that to myself calmly and quietly, not as a reprimand or a command, but as an invitation to mindfulness, to remember that “When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”