A confession

When the light isn’t just right…when there’s not quite enough…or even when there’s a lot of it, but in the wrong place, I cannot see faces and objects clearly. I notice it every Sunday in the foyer and at the back of the Sanctuary. I can’t see your faces clearly enough to recognize you until I am very close to you.

That’s a confession that’s not easy to make. As I have gotten older, I have continued to enjoy good health. My plan has always been to be as active today as I was yesterday, and as active tomorrow as I am today…on and on, into an indefinite future when I will suddenly, painlessly drop dead, causing no trouble to anyone.

But there has been a glitch in my plan. Age-related macular degeneration, known familiarly as ARMD by a surprisingly large number of people, has impaired my vision. When I was diagnosed with the early stage (dry) some eight or ten years ago, I was told that I would have no vision problems unless it became wet. I cheerfully assumed that my good attitude and habits would protect me and my very valuable eyesight. I was also told that there was really nothing that could be done to treat the condition. But eventually my left eye betrayed me, and I lost most of the central vision it provided. All was not lost, however, because in the intervening years, all kinds of treatments have been developed. I have had a number of injections (yes, with a tiny needle carrying lovely medication right into my eye), followed by laser treatments, so the vision I have is holding. However, my situation is further complicated by a cataract that doctors are reluctant to remove, not wanting to risk any further damage to that eye.

I can still drive (although I stay off unfamiliar expressways and am selective about night driving); I can still read almost anything with my drugstore reading glasses; I can still see almost everything. But if I occasionally look blank or uncertain when I see you, please remember I’m just trying to figure out who you are.

Every day I thank God for the blessing of researchers and medical practitioners who are saving my vision…as I thank God for the gift of sight. Now, if I could just get my spiritual vision to improve….